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Home.

Home.

When I have an idea of something I want to write I will grab my phone and start tying out my thoughts in my notes. These notes are usually a couple sentence to a paragraph long and usually happen while on buses or trains. Well now I am on the plane from Rome to Lax and I decided to go through these notes. Before I left there was this constant question in my head of ‘how do we define home?’ I continued to question this for the first couple weeks in Italy. So I started this note but never really came back to it. 

 

 

 

Home is the word that holds thousands of meanings, can cross borders, and has a special attachment to your heart. Whether home be a structure, a person, a memory, or simply the place where you find your dog waiting for you after a long day, the meaning of home is endless.

 

When I moved an ocean away it pushed me to really question ‘what is home?’ and ‘how to define home?’ Being here for 3 weeks now I have started to find things that make home, home and its not quite what I thought. Here in Volterra our villa is kinda home, it’s a place to lay your head at night and to see my fellow Americans. What really makes me feel at home are the reminders I get. Like anytime I am walking around the cobble stone streets and I see a golden my heart breaks a little inside because I miss Addie 

 

Or our 5 hr drive from Frankfurt to Berlin that was filled with green trees, rolling hills, and mountain air. Now that, that really reminded me of home. 

 

And then there was the time when we were are at Lollapalooza in the Olympia Stadion and we are pushing our way to the front of David Gutta (lol throwback). I mumble sorry as I wrestle my way though and this guy grabs my arm. I turn and 

 

he says:

 ‘wait are you american?’ 

We reply:

 ‘YES’ 

He says: 

“we are apart of the milltary and stationed here”

 

We go on to thank them for their services, jump around, and sing at the top of our lungs. Home, I’m tellin you that was a homey feeling.

 

 

 

Looking back now I am realizing that this constant question of home slowly faded after the first month. I think it has to do with getting used to a place. Not that it felt like home but just that I started to pay less and less attention to differences between the Salt Lake and Volterra.

 

I think this is pretty obvious but the more I write the more I believe that home is not just one place. I think that home is a place where my heart feels at peace. This sounds a little cheesy when I put it into words but I feel like it isn’t fair to say home is just one place. When I think about looking up at the red rocks in Moab or sitting at the top of a mountain, skis about to fall over the edge, those are the moments where my heart is at peace and I feel at home. 

 

Looking back, one of the biggest challenges was finding a place where my heart felt at peace. The cobble stones and the tight buildings that surrounded Volterra didn’t always offer the peace that nature does. One of the professors that visited asked us what we were some differences between Volterra and Salt lake. I said that I missed nature. Now he nagged and nagged me about how everything is nature and has come from nature but I realized that because of this lack of “nature” I had to find peace in other things like going to dinner every night for 2 hours or I finding different benches that looked over the surrounding valley to feel more at home.

 

Maybe home isn’t actually a feeling but it’s people. I can tell you for sure I feel at home when I am with my familia but I also learned that other people can be home too. Like Massimo and Carla who run the restaurant we ate at every day and called our Italian mom and dad. Or Anne our professor who really was the the group’s mom, organizing all our trips and looking after us as if we were her own children. And if course I can’t forget the life longs friends I made. Boy oh boy if we are talking people and home there are 3 people that need to be mentioned: Hayley, Jade and Blake. Our late night movies, long conversations over dinner and constant laughs were the most homey feelings of all.

This post is a little sporadic but I guess the final answer is I am still working on defining home. And the thing is I may never have my answer but I think it is such a deep thought to question, especially when we only have this one life to explore it.

 

Lots of love,

gabi

2 weeks of being 20

2 weeks of being 20

Prelog

Okay as you will quickly realize I wrote this post 2 weeks ago on my twentieth birthday while on the train to Venice. But I never really got time to finish it because we got in to the city and were busy running around. I am now finishing the post. Twenty is terrifying and I really just feel like the world needed to hear my thoughts about it.

 

 

20. WHATTTTT.

Soooooo how did I get here again?? (que How Did I Get Here by ODESZA) I am 20 years old and I am sitting on a train to Venice, Italy. That is wild, right? I mean this morning I hopped out of the shower and my got a happy birthday call from my parents who were about to go sleep. For starters how is it even possible that as I am just starting my day, they are ending theres? And secondly HOW THE HELL HAVE I LIVED FOR TWO DECADES!!!!????? I know it’s super cliche to be all ‘wow time flies’ yada yada but like it really does. Before we left for the train I was staring out my window looking at a town that has casually been around since 800 bce, brushing teeth. Excuse me what? 

I don’t know sometimes people talk about how they were ‘having the time of their lives’ at my age and it makes me so scared that I am not living my life out. I mean I am in Italy so I really cannot be complaining but it is definitely something that is itching in the back of my mind. Twenty years, 7,302 days, 175,248 hours…. that is so much time and hopefully there is more, I am just trying to figure out how this is all happened. 
So obviously I was feeling quite a bit lost and confused. And two weeks later I can tell you definitely that definitely hasn’t changed. To try and wrap my mind just a little around all of this I decided to write out a list of things I have learned thus far.

 

 

20 Things I have learned about life over the past 20 years

(completely based on my own opinion)

  1. Pea’s are LITERALLY the ABSOLUTE WORST vegetables on planet Earth
  2. European’s don’t believe in hydrating themselves (water costs more than alcohol)
  3. There are 2 things you never turn down in life: free concert tickets and traveling
  4. Just push to the front of concerts, you’ll never regret being that close and you’re never going to see these people again
  5. The best person to talk to when you are feeling sad is your dog (you can borrow one mine if youre ever in need)
  6. Life is sooooo much bigger than high school so just power through those 4 years
  7. Your mother literally knows EVERYTHING
  8. NEVER EVER take a puff coat to a frat party… you will lose it (speaking from experience)
  9. Only buy cheap sunglasses
  10. ALWAYS ALWAYS carry a tide-to-go stick at all times
  11. You can never have too many sweatshirts!!!! and you’ll never regret buying one
  12. DRINK WATERRRRR
  13. Men’s deodorant works 10 times better than girls
  14. YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MANY ITEMS OF BLACK CLOTHING
  15. And wearing all black on a regular basis is 100% acceptable
  16. Breathe in the mountain air as often as you can
  17. Canyon drives/being in the mountains can take away just about any stress you have
  18. Have head phones with you at all times
  19. TOASTERS OVENS AND STEAMERS are essential to a functional life (I will literally scream this from the roof tops
  20. We are all just humans tryin our best out here

 

Welp there you have it. Still out here just trying to figure this all out so if you have any suggestions send them my way

 

love and miss you all lots

gabi